Crying Hard or Hardly Crying
by LovableDuck
Summary: After Akaya is confronted by death, his life continues to spiral out of control - until he ends up at a hospital. The Rikkai regulars try to help, but one of them has a terrible secret - and the reason why Akaya had to be hospitalized. Akaya x ?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Crying Hard or Hardly Crying

When I woke up, I felt much calmer than I had in weeks.

The whole room was white. It looked clean, and pure. The blinds were over the windows, and fragments of light entered the room, causing pieces of the wall to be in shadow and others lit up. As I glanced up at the ceiling, I noticed a crack on the right corner. It was very small, and slight, but I'd always had good eyesight.

I wondered if I'd be able to sit up straight. I tried to, tensing my body, but it wouldn't work. Damn. But, it was only a matter of time before I'd be able to leave.

"Oh, you're awake." I turned and was surprised to see a tall, thin, very blonde nurse. She was wearing a pale pink dress, and looked very out of place as a nurse. "My name is Eliza." Her eyes twinkled at me. "I'll be your caretaker while you're here."

Caretaker. The way she said it rubbed me the wrong way. It sounded almost as if she was saying I needed someone to watch over me. To protect me. Well, she was wrong. I could protect myself.

When Eliza noticed I wasn't going to respond to her, she walked over to me, and quickly patted me down. I grit my teeth to stop myself from saying anything, but Eliza must have sensed my discomfort, because she stopped after a minute.

"If you're wondering why I patted you down like that, it's because some of the other doctors heard you screaming. You must've been asleep. They called for me, since I'm very good at dealing with people who do things like that." She looked down at me, her eyes oddly blank. Then she smiled again. "You were asleep. I peeked in, and saw your eyes, squeezed tight very shut. Those must've been some nightmares you were having."

Eliza looked down at me. Her head turned slowly to the right. Then to the left. She looked like she was judging me. I always hated when people pulled that crap. If you don't know me, then you can't judge me. That's my philosophy. The nurse sure didn't know me - I'd never even opened my mouth to talk to her.

"Anyway, the doctors had me wait until you were quiet. I guess you must've woken up. I'll leave you now. The doctor will be here later."

As Eliza left the room quietly, I could still feel the sweat that I'd woken up with trailing down my back.

***

Luckily for me, there was a little bathroom in the side of my room. It had a large white sink and white toilet. After relieving myself, I stood in front of the mirror, and looked soundlessly at my face.

I'd been able to move about an hour before. It was a long walk to the door of my room. It was locked.

I sighed, before washing my hands with cold water. I used to use hot water, since it killed all the germs, but since I was in a hospital, I didn't think it was necessary. And besides, cold water always woke me up. I needed to be awake now, more than ever.

As I looked at my face in the mirror, I stared. I looked nothing like I used too. I was pale and gaunt, and my eyes were dull and lusterless. I looked almost as if I should be dead.

I heard the sound of a knob turning, and stumbled out quickly to see a tall, thin man walk into my room. I could still barely walk. I noticed that the man left the door open by a little crack. I realized that the door must open from the outside.

"Ah, so you're awake…Kirihara-kun?" The man looked up at me and smiled. I stared, surprised to see the man with purple lipstick, and a stomach stitched up with what looked like metal.

When I didn't say anything, the man continued speaking to me. "My name is Dr. Faust. I was told you were awake about an hour ago. I thought you must've fallen asleep, because the sedatives we gave you were strong ones. But I see you're walking. Please, come and sit down."

I didn't move. Instead, I stared at the doctor in front of me. I didn't want to go back on the bed. I wanted to leave this room.

"Now, Kirihara-kun." I looked up at the doctor, and his eyes looked into mine. "You really should sit down. It doesn't have to be your bed. This chair, or that chair, will suffice."

I looked at the two chairs the doctor motioned to. They wee both brown, wooden, and the same. I took the one closest to me.

"Kirihara-kun, do you know why you're here?"

I didn't say anything. I just looked at the doctor.

"Okay, well, if you don't speak to me, that's fine." Faust stood up, and reached over to me. "To be honest, the one you'll really have to speak to is the psychologist. Now, let me help you back to your bed. You look like you could use to rest."

I slapped his hand away, and then stumbled back to my bed. I didn't need this doctor, that nurse, or any hospital. But until I was stronger I knew I had to stay.

***

So, what did you think? Writer's block = gone. Finally! Please leave reviews, comments, questions, etc- I love them! And, and, and, I'm playing a little joke in this fic with names. If you can figure it out, you'll get a cookie! Or maybe a story. I don't know. Just please, leave a response!

-Ducky


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The most expensive thing I own is probably worth about five dollars. And since Prince of Tennis is worth way more than that, it's safe to assume I don't own it.

Chapter 2

***

I woke up to the ringing of a phone.

It was loud, shrill and sharp; the piercing noise pounded itself into my skull. Rubbing my bleary eyes, I reached over blindly to the small nightstand next to my bed, missing the phone several times. At last, I grasped the phone, and pulled it to my ear.

"Hello." My phone, clogged with sleep, sounded flat and dead.

"Akaya!" I instantly recognized the voice of the self-proclaimed tensai of Rikkai. Marui Bunta. My fellow teammate. "I got this number from your-"

Click.

I sighed, and rolled over. If my teammates really thought I was talking to them after all that had happened, they were seriously wrong.

***

Marui stared at his cellphone, his face a mask of surprise and shock.

"Something wrong, Bunta?" On the bench across from Marui, Kuwahara Jackal looked worriedly at his doubles partner. Seeing the look on Marui's face, Jackal instantly knew what he'd done. "You just called Akaya, didn't you?"

"Er…yes," Marui admitted in a small voice. He shifted slightly, tilting his head to look up at the trees surrounding the two friends in the park. It had once been the favorite hang out of the group.

"Damnit, Marui! I thought you were supposed to be a genius or something."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. Once his dad gave me the number-"

"We were supposed to call him as a team." Furious eyes met even angrier ones.

"We're not the team we used to be, Jackal." Marui pulled himself up, stretched, and then walked over to his friend. "Come on. Let's go. They're probably waiting for us. Although, if Akaya has the same response with everyone else calling him too…"

"Why? What did he say when you called him?"

"He just hung up."

Jackal sighed, then rubbed his eyes. _"This is the last thing we need right now," _he thought silently to himself. Then he turned and, following Marui's lead, made his way to the local tennis courts, where the rest of Rikkai were waiting.

***

I sitting up by the time Eliza arrived. She pushed the door open lightly, her long, blonde hair pulled up in a pony tail. She was holding my breakfast. To be honest, the hospital food wasn't that bad - but most of the patients were so bored, there was nothing else to do but complain about it.

"How are you feeling, Kirihara-kun?" Eliza looked at me with wide, smiling eyes, and put my food on the nightstand, next to the phone had had awoken me so rudely that same morning. "I heard one of the nurses say your phone went off?"

I didn't respond. I still wasn't talking.

Nodding her head slightly, she continued, "You didn't speak to them either. You know, you'll be meeting the psychologist today. I'm sure you'll like him. You may even want to talk to him."

When I still did nothing but stare at the tiny crack above my head, she stood up, and walked towards the door. When she got there, she paused, and then murmured, almost to herself, "I wish this was easier. All I want to do is help…"

The door swung open, then closed. I was left alone with a tray of food I wasn't hungry enough to eat. And then that damn phone rang again.

***

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," Marui was chanting even as Yukimura Seiichi's phone rang. The entire team was on the court, and all eyes were focused on the phone. Then, the second ring stopped in the middle, meaning someone had picked up the phone.

"Akaya!" Yukimura beamed at his friends surrounding him. "Akaya, I-" Click.

"Seiichi. Is something wrong?" Sanada Genichirou's facial expression never changed, but he was just as worried as everyone else when he saw the look of frozen shock on Yukimura's face.

"Akaya just hung up on me." Yukimura sounded stunned. "Before I even uttered more than two words."

"There was a large change of this happening." All eyes turned to the data master, Yanagi Renji. "After all, we still have no idea why he's even in a hospital in the first place."

Everyone was silent for a moment, contemplating what was going on. It was hard to understand why Akaya, who adored their buchou, would hang up on him.

"Something must be seriously wrong,"Yagyuu Hiroshi said finally, when no one else had spoken up. "We must go and see him in person, so he'll talk to us."

"If the brattling doesn't want to talk to us, he's not going to." The Trickster of Rikkai, Niou Massasharu, frowned slightly. "And to be honest, I'm not going to waste the time or energy to try to talk to him. He'll talk to us when he wants to."

"But, Niou-" Marui reached forward, only to be rejected by Niou, as the Trickster began walking away.

"I don't have time for the brattling's games. He'll talk to us when he's good and ready." As Niou walked away from his friends, leaving them standing together astonished, a sudden, bitter thought occurred to him. _"If Akaya even wants to see me again…"_

***

Wow, that was a long chapter. For me at least. xD Anyways, as always, reviews, comments, questions, etc., are greatly appreciated. I only got 3 reviews on my last chapter. Come on, guys. I know you love me more than that! xDD

-Ducky


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was late in the afternoon when I walked outside. It was warm out, and the hospital had beautiful flowers in its garden. The garden itself was huge; rows of green blended into rows of pinks and whites and yellows, flowers and grass becoming a myriad of colors. All throughout the garden, people were walking by, most talking quietly. The garden seemed like a still, tranquil place. I liked it. Hell knew I could use some tranquility.

"Ah, Kirihara-kun. When I saw you weren't in your room, I asked myself, 'Now, where would I go?' And the answer, of course, was to the garden."

I turned around, already feeling my sense of peace broken. Standing next to me, in a simple white shirt and jeans, was a slender brunette. He certainly didn't look like a hospital worker. He was staring calmly over the balcony, eyes as clear and calm as my own had been just moments before.

"Can you tell me something, Kirihara-kun?" I looked as blankly as I could into the man's eyes. "Why is it that you're not in the garden? Is it because you don't think you deserve to give yourself the treat of being among the flowers, or is there some other reason?"

I didn't respond. This time, it wasn't by choice.

"I saw the way you were looking at the flowers." The man now looked me directly in the eyes. He pulled himself up straight, walked closer to me. I took a step back. "It's the same look a child has staring at a toy he wants but won't let himself have. It's the look of willpower. But more than that, it's a look of pain."

The only answer I had for him was silence. But anger bit at the back of my throat. This strange guy, who didn't know me, who had never even spoken to me, was comparing me to a child. The last thing I wanted was to be compared to a child.

"I'm sure you're wondering who I am." Now, the man stretched out a hand. "My name is Asakura Yoh. I'll be your psychologist."

***

Niou closed his eyes and sighed, slumping against a park fence. A cool breeze rolled by, gently cooling off his face. Angry, icy eyes flashed open, willing the breeze to stop. Niou knew he deserved the guilt.

"For the love of Tennis, 'Haru!" Niou turned angrily to look at Marui, who had arrived before the rest of the team. His face was slightly red. He had never known how fast Niou could speed walk.

"Don't use the name of Tennis in vain, Bunta." Niou's voice was heavily laced with sarcasm.

"God, why are you in such a bad mood?" Marui shifted slightly, left foot to right. Moving so quickly usually made his muscles cramp and he didn't have any sugar on him.

"That's none of your goddamn business." Before, he had looked angry. Niou now looked furious.

"Now, now, everyone, let's calm down." Walking closer to his teammates was Yukimura, flanked by Sanada. "I've sent the rest of the team to try and see Akaya in person. But, we thought it was important to talk to you."

"If the brat wants to be left alone, then, hell, maybe we should leave him alone." The sarcasm was back.

"Niou, we want to know what happened." Sanada reached up to adjust his cap, causing the shadow of his brim to reflect sunlight over his face.

"I have no need to talk to you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have important things to do." With that, Niou turned on his heel and stalked off.

"Massa-"

"Marui, don't bother. Let's go meet up with the rest of the team and go see Akaya." Wordlessly, Marui nodded, and the three turned to catch up to the rest of their team.

***

I was sitting with Askakura, listening to him tell me about the flowers. He really knew a lot about them. He was explaining to me why they smelled the way they did - something about ethers - when I saw that nurse coming up.

"Ah, Eliza!" Something I had noticed was that the doctors and nurses never bothered with honorifics. They must all be friends. It kind of reminded me of Rikkai, actually. It hurt a little to think about that. I mean, we called ourselves a family, but I still had too-

"Kirihara-kun!" I looked up quickly.

"Now, as I was saying," Eliza began again, sending Asakura a grateful smile, "you have some visitors."

***

Hahaha, I'm so evil! A cliff hanger! Now, firstly, I'm very sorry this took so long to post, but I lost the outline to this story, and had to remake it. Secondly, the sooner you review and the more reviews I get, the sooner the next chapter is posted. Is that okay with you? It is with me.

-Ducky


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